Last week was my oldest son's birthday. Brayden's birthday was not just a celebration of his life, but it was a celebration of mine. I’ve been a mom for seven years now. I remember him in my tummy wondering what he would look like...would he have Jerome’s gorgeous complexion, almonds eyes and wonderful afro hair? Yes, yes and no. After he was born, we talked about the day our guy will be running around, in school and teaching us things he is learning or driving us up the wall because he talks so much. I hated that we were rushing it and anticipating all these milestones. Instead of anticipation, now we are looking back and wondering where the time went.
I look at this young man and I still have so many hopes and dreams for my first born, this little guy that showed me what true love is and opened my heart to a whole new dimension of living where my heart is literally walking around on his own and out in the world. Scary.
Seven years of making choices for someone else, seven years of teaching someone good and bad choices, seven years of worrying about my decisions that I make as we break ground each new day, seven years of unconditional love.
My Brody is just as loved, but has definitely benefited from my learning and practicing this mom thing on older brother. I knew that his brain would not shrivel when my breast milk dried up too quickly and went on formula way quicker than I planned. I also knew he would not have to be rushed to the ER or catch any weird diseases if he eats the cheerios off the ground (10 second rule – duh). The second time around decisions and choices are not as stressful. The second time there is much more confidence and ability to just enjoy my last child.
Poor Brayden, he still has this mom that is practicing on him because each year we are entering a new age, new stage, new everything that I clearly have no clue about yet until we go through it together. But if these past years have taught me anything – I can handle everything that comes at us, and each adventure knowing it makes me better, stronger and wiser.
I've also learned that part of being a mom is not just about facing all these new experiences but it's about turning around and imparting wisdom to help those coming into the same to help them with their path and to find their own courage, own voice and confidence as a mom. We all have our own philosophies and what works for our families, but we have one thing in common - the love we have for these amazing little beings and we are doing the best we can with the tools and knowledge we have available to us.
I would love to hear from you in the comment section…
What moments have given you the most confidence as a mom?