That feeling when you've found a kindred spirit. The jolt of electricity running through your veins as you talk excitedly about the same things and the words in your mind are coming out of someone else's mouth. You found you in another persons body, except they're not. They are them. And they have many more interests that expand your mind, stretch you into a new you. A you that you LOVE.
When you meet someone, sometimes you know. There is a hint, an inkling that this person has something that could interest you. Something similar to you, or completely opposite of anything you have known. Sometimes, you have completely written them off upon first meeting, but a thought, a word, an act catches your attention and you tell yourself you need to find out more.
This is what connection is about. It's about what you need in the moment. Do you need to hear yourself more, do you need an alternate opinion, do you need a new experience and to grow? Connection is exactly what you need in this moment.
Sometimes the initial excitement dies down as you get comfortable with your connection and they fit into your life, like you fit into yours. There's still a connection that may need some maintenance and revisiting how to make it stronger.
After being married or friends with someone for many years, sometimes the excitement is there, sometimes it's not. There is a connection there and it's a choice to be open and to make it stronger. Below are a few ways that connection can be made or maintained:
1) Be honest - Being honest and straightforward cuts through so much BS and wasted time. If one person is lying or not being 100% authentic, how can there be a true connection? It's only a matter of time before the other person finds out and questions the entire foundation that was built. When the foundation is cracked, it's hard to continue to keep building and not always worth the additional investment of time and self.
2) Be open - Setting aside judgey judgerson and allowing someone else to own their interests because it's theirs. Don't just shut down someone/something because it's different from what you know and love within your small world. My biggest pet peeve is the "weird"comment about what someone else likes or does. What if it was main stream, what if it was considered by the masses as normal, would your judge hat come out? All because you don't like something does not make it invalid. Be open to the what if...what if you did like it, what if you understood it, what if you have been missing out on something all this time? And even if you don't like it, making someone wrong for their interests shuts down the possibility of connections fast. When you are open and accepting, authenticity and honesty are much more easier to form or recreate connections.
3) Make memories together - When you create memories together whether good or bad, you are creating a story together that will be part of each of your lives FOREVER. There's nothing like reminiscing with someone over a laugh or a special moment. Touching someone else's life and leaving an imprint.
4) Make time - it takes time to get to know someone, even if you already think you know them. We can't possibly know everything there is to know about someone, their thoughts and feelings are their own and unless you are talking and actively listening and finding out, you don't know. Time is THE most valuable commodity. Think about it...what would you give for a few more hours, days even years? When you make time for someone, you are expressing their value to you.
I would love to hear from you in the comment section...
What actions could be incorporated in your day to maintain or strengthen connections?